You've decided you want something to change, and you've started looking.
Very quickly, the options multiply. Programs, intensives, retreats, courses, coaching packages. Each has a beautiful page, moving testimonials and a confident promise. Each seems to be the one that finally works. And somewhere in the middle of it all, you realise you don't know how to tell them apart.
That's a reasonable place to be. You're thinking of trusting someone with something that matters: your inner life, your time, your money, your hope. It's worth being careful. Not suspicious of everyone, and not so cautious that you never begin. Just careful in the way you'd be careful choosing a surgeon or a school for your child.
So here are the questions I'd ask of any program, including mine. I'd rather you asked us hard questions and chose well than chose us without asking.
How do I choose a personal transformation program?
Choose by asking plain questions and noticing how they're answered. Who leads it, and for how long? What happens day by day? Will you have to share personally? What support exists during and after? What do independent reviews say? A good program answers clearly and without pressure. Vague, rushed or pushy answers tell you a great deal.
Who leads it, and what have they actually done?
Start with the person.
How long have they been doing this kind of work? Not studying it, doing it, with real people, in real rooms. Qualifications matter, but in my view they matter less than what someone can actually do for another human being, in quality and speed of result. Ask to see that. Stories, reviews, recordings of real work where they exist.
Also notice whether the person leading the program is still doing the work themselves, or whether their name is on the door while others run the room. Neither is automatically wrong. Many good programs are delivered by trained teams. But you should know which it is before you book, and you should know who, exactly, will be with you when something important comes up.
I've been doing this work for over twenty years. I'd expect anyone considering my rooms to check that, read what people have said, and make up their own mind.
What actually happens in the room?
Ask for specifics, not slogans.
Is it mostly teaching or mostly practice? Is the work done in a group, one-on-one, or both? How are the days structured? What's asked of you? A program that knows what it's doing can tell you clearly. If all you get is "it's hard to explain, you have to experience it," that may be true, but it's worth pushing for more.
Ask directly whether you'll have to share personal stories with the group. Some programs require it. Mine doesn't. There's more on why in do I have to share my story. Either way, you deserve to know before you go.
It's also worth asking whether the program adds something or removes something. That question sorts most programs quickly.
Some programs give you more: more skills, more tools, more motivation. That's valuable when you're missing something. Others aim to remove something: an old pattern, a fear, a survival identity. That's what's needed when you already understand your patterns and still repeat them.
Neither is better in general. But they're built for different problems. If you've already had years of adding, another program that adds may not be what you need. Be especially wary of programs that promise both at once in vague terms. Ask them which one they actually do, and how. I've written more about how to tell the difference in choosing a workshop in Dubai, and why understanding alone often isn't enough in is self-awareness enough.
What results do people actually report?
Ask for evidence, and read it carefully.
Look for specifics rather than general enthusiasm. What changed, and how long did it last? Are there stories from people months or years later? Are there independent reviews as well as chosen testimonials?
One of the results I think of most often in my own work is a lawyer whose years of internal identity conflict resolved in minutes, through a deep identity shift. I share that as it happened, and I'd never promise the same outcome to anyone else. What I'd want you to look for, in any program, is results like that described plainly, without exaggeration, by people you could in principle check.
How do they handle what's outside their scope?
This one matters more than people realise.
A responsible program knows what it isn't. Ask what happens if someone arrives who needs clinical care. A good answer sounds like: we'll tell you plainly, and we'll encourage you to keep working with your doctor or therapist. My work isn't therapy and isn't a substitute for clinical care, and I say so. Be wary of anyone who suggests you won't need professional support anymore, or who speaks about other professions with contempt.
While you're there, ask what happens if it doesn't work for you, and what happens after the last day.
Is there a guarantee, and what exactly does it say? Is there support afterwards, or does everything end when you walk out? Change that lasts usually needs somewhere to land. Ask whether there's anyone you can contact in the weeks afterwards, whether there are follow-up sessions or a community, and whether the tools you're taught are yours to keep using on your own.
Notice, too, how they talk about deciding. A program worth your trust will give you room to think. Urgency that's real, a date, a limited number of seats, is fine. Pressure that tries to rush you past your own judgement isn't.
How can I put these questions to a program?
This practice is a phone or video call, and it takes about thirty minutes, including preparation.
Choose one program you're considering. Before the call, write down these questions on a single page: What happens day by day? Will I have to share personally? What support is there during and after? What results do people report, and how long do they last? What happens if someone needs clinical care? What is the guarantee? Am I a good fit, and if not, who would be?
Then book a call and ask them, in order. Ask the same questions of every program you're considering, so you can compare the answers side by side rather than relying on how each one made you feel in the moment. Take notes. Don't try to decide during the call. If the person on the other end tries to get you to decide there and then, note that too.
Afterwards, read your notes and ask yourself one final question: did I feel respected? Not impressed, respected. The way a program treats you before you've paid is usually a good indication of how it'll treat you afterwards.
Where can I ask these questions about the RS Method?
Right at the start, for free.
Sara, our veteran RS Method Master Coach, offers free mentoring sessions. Bring the list. Ask her everything. If the RS Method isn't the right fit for what you need, she'll tell you, and that's a perfectly good outcome of the call. If you're still weighing whether change is even possible for you, can people really change might help first.
Robert Simic, guiding the remembering.